Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Great Eraser

Sometimes I flash back to past sins, past decisions that lacked wisdom and past seasons of overall questionable judgement (despite the best intentions) that have shaped my life. I don’t know why I do it. I promise you it’s totally involuntary, and it always seems to happen at the oddest moments.

Like at 1-ish in the a.m. when I’m in bed and should be trying to get some rest. Has this ever happened to you?

It happened to me just the other night. I was laying in bed, grasping at sleep as if trying to catch the wind in my hands, because my mind had other plans. As soon as I closed my eyes, there it was. An entire season of my life – a season filled with painful relationship rejections, poor choices, and misguided faith – began to flash before me as if on the big screen. If only this had been a real Hollywood production, I could graciously accept my Academy Award for best actress, deliver my eloquent and heartfelt acceptance speech and exit stage left. But nooo…. The scenes playing in my head were real. The participants were not actors and there are no golden statues for the role I played. Guilt and shame tend not to feel much like awards.

The onslaught of negativity threatened my sleep, my peace and even my identity. My brain struggled to reach for God’s word.

…He blots out your transgressions…

These words popped into my head. I remembered the scripture, but I couldn’t recall exactly where it was in the bible. So, I jumped up and grabbed my phone from the wall charger. With only 17 or 18% battery life remaining, I googled the scripture verse
then thumb-typed, like a mad woman, the makings of this blog post in my notepad app. I had to capture this blessed revelation before it disappeared. Sure it was late, and I was super tired. I’d found the scripture for myself. But I figured I’m not the only woman whose mind sometimes turns against her. I know I’m not the only one who endures the albeit occasional yet brutal brow beating by past sins and general less than stellar moments. I figured someone else, one of my other girlfriends out there, may need to be reminded of (or maybe even learn of for the first time) this promise from God just as much as I needed to be reminded of it myself. Someone else may need to know that there is a great eraser.

So there it is. If the Lord has promised to wipe away my sins and remember them no more, then I’d wager (if I were a betting woman, WHICH I am NOT, but IF I were… ;-)) He doesn’t want me dwelling on them either – voluntarily or involuntarily. And His perfect will is the same for you, too.

Do your past faux pas still occasionally try to rear their ugly heads and taunt you today? If so, how do you deal with them?

P.S. If this post blessed you, pass it on. If you know someone who may be blessed by this post, pass it on.