Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Week 32: Know you’re valuable

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. – Proverbs 31:10, KJV

I saw her around the same time almost every day. Each time I hoped to make eye contact, if only for a moment. I wanted to offer her my best smile and my friendliest, “Hi! How are you?” My ears and heart were on high alert, ready to listen for her response. But it never happened. She never lifted her face long enough to be seen, let alone to be acknowledged. It was as if she didn’t want or expect anyone to notice her. I spoke anyway.

It pierces my heart to see a woman walk with her eyes glued to the ground. I was that woman not so very long ago. After years of vehement verbal and emotional battery in an unhealthy relationship, my self-esteem plunged to an all-time low. Even after the relationship ended, my continued pattern of unhealthy relationships was the fruit of my tattered, shameful, guilt-ridden soul.

I walked around with my head hung low. My posture wasn’t intentional. Heck, for a long time I didn’t even notice it. It was the subconscious side effect of a deeply-rooted internal lie that said I wasn’t worthy and that I wasn’t as valuable as those around me. A lie, indeed.

Some time after that season of my life, I hosted a small group women’s bible study. I studied and wrote the lessons myself. The first lesson was entitled Wisdom, Virtue and Rubies – inspired by and based on the biblical scripture above. To prepare the lesson, I dissected the word wisdom and studied the many biblical scriptures that instruct us on the value of wisdom. I studied what it means to be virtuous, a woman of strong moral character. Then I came upon the word “rubies.” The analogy is meant to describe the extreme value of a woman.

The more I studied the more I realized we, as women, often don’t know just how valuable we truly are. That lack of personal value may be displayed through something as simple as our posture or something more notable as unhealthy relationships (including toxic friendships with other women). The more I studied the more delighted I became with the reassurance that God created me, you, us to be valuable. And His intent for us superseded anyone else’s thoughts, feelings or opinions that may fall opposite of His. It even overrides the shame, guilt and brokenness of days gone by.

I still see that woman from time to time. Recently, we shared an elevator ride at the end of a work day. As my co-worker and I chirped away with excitement about the weekend, I barely heard her voice chime in in agreement. Her whisper made my heart leap. I quickly turned to face her, to acknowledge her in that brief conversation. Why? Because I wanted her to feel noticed. Because she’s important. Because she’s valuable.

What about you? Do you know your worth? Do your posture, your countenance, your relationships confirm your value?

P.S. Please share this post with another woman to reminder her how valuable she is.

P.S.S. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please join me here for posts related to domestic violence/abuse and healthy relationships. Because authenticity plays an important role in healthy relationships.

Until next time,

Be Completely You!