Monday, May 12, 2014

Week 18: To be or not to be Decisive, Pt. 2

You should have seen me at my little workstation the moment God reminded me of those scriptures I shared last week. I tore out my bible on the spot and began reading the words – giggling and making “mmm hmm” noises out loud to myself.

My confession

I tend to worry incessantly about making right decisions. On the surface, it appears to be just this holy desire to stay in God’s good graces, and to an extent that’s true. However, the less noble (and often more forceful) side to my worry is a desire to try to control my outcomes. Subconsciously, my heart is plotting. If I can choose the absolute right decision, then I won’t suffer any pain or discomfort after I step into it, whatever IT is – new opportunity, new job, new relationship, new organization, new leadership role, etc. But guess what. This is so NOT true.

God knows me.  – Psalm 139:1-6

God knows me better than anyone on this earth ever will, even better than I will ever know myself. (Psalm 139:6) He gives me free will and trusts me to exercise wise judgment in my decision making. Yet, He knows I won’t always get it right.

He knows when I will step out in faith or cower in fear. He knows when I will move forward or lag behind. He knows my fears and my concerns. He knows when I think I’m less than qualified or less than capable of pulling something off or completing a project.

He. Knows. Me.

I must learn to trust that knowledge.

He’s always with me and protects me.  – Psalm 139:7-12

Making decisions can be challenging. What makes it easier for me is to know that God is always with me. Whether the choice I makes turn out like a Sunday drive or like a roller coaster ride, He will always lead me, if I look to Him to do so. (Psalm 139:10)

For example, lately I’ve been praying to be stretched, to grow and for new leadership opportunities. Of course, new opportunities will certainly accommodate the request for stretching and growing, as well. Stretching and growing isn’t always pleasant, so those opportunities may hail a few curve balls or be wrought with a few unexpected challenges. Does that mean I made a bad decision? Not always. And even if I did, guess what. He’s still with me.

He created me and knows what’s best for me.” – Psalm 139:13-16

I’ll admit I’m not a follow-the-manual kind of girl. I know the manufacturer includes assembly and /or operating instructions for a reason, but I like to see if my brilliant mind can somehow sense how to put something together or how to operate it. This might sound cute, but it’s not always cool. Because I believe God created me, then it would make sense for me to consult Him in my decision making process. The manufacturer definitely knows what’s best for me.

He will direct my steps. – Proverbs 3:5, 6

I realize not everyone believes in God as I do. But I can’t imagine where I would be if I didn’t have someone to look to for direction. Obviously, I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I simply don’t know where I should go or how I should move. During those times it could be best to sit still or to take a faithful step in a direction and see what happens. When we make moves, we can trust God to direct our steps. And if we’re on the wrong path, we can trust Him to nudge us back into the right direction.

I can do anything with God’s help. – Philippians 4:13

It seems I’m always faced with opportunities I’ve prayed for yet I don’t feel qualified for when they come. So before I ever know whether or not the scales will tip in my favor, I’m fretting over all of the obvious reasons (in my opinion) why there’s just no way they possibly could. But that day, sitting at my little workstation, it dawned on me. I can’t do all things through ME who strengthens ME. We’ve already discussed how wishy washy ME can be. I’m not the it factor. He is. And that reminder brought me great joy. At that moment I felt empowered to put my ring in the hat for opportunities that are presented to me but that I may feel less than qualified for. If I am chosen, my ability to succeed doesn’t rest on me. Now isn’t that a blessing.