Sunday in church our campus pastor shared the story of a young newlywed couple (members of the church). On their wedding day, the excited groom presented his blushing bride with a bag filled with 77 marbles (I believe he said they were purple). The marbles were to represent the number of years of marital bliss he hoped they’d share together.
The couple’s lifetime of holy matrimony lasted somewhere around a year. Til death do us part came unannounced and much earlier than either of them ever imagined. The groom died in a tragic accident while communing with God’s goodness on a nature hike. I imagine this beautiful young woman’s bag of shiny purple marbles now felt like no more than shards of their shattered dream and her broken heart.
With 55 (54, by the time you read this) days until my wedding day, the truth of this young woman’s story and the reality of the uncertain future that lies ahead of me is now lodged in my throat and tries to take my breath away.
I wept at my seat as an entry from this young widow’s personal journal was read aloud to a very silent congregation. My tears met the cries of her heart poured onto these pages. I identified with her basic pain of losing a loved one and my thoughts threatened to careen out of control at the mere possibility that something so tragic could happen to me in the early morn of my marriage soon to come.
The text (biblical scripture reference) for yesterday’s message was Philippians 4:12, 13.
12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Armed with these verses I can annihilate those extra pounds I want to lose; I can steward a bank account that runneth over or I can manage a more meager existence. I can diligently type my way to my first book or I can wade through the frigid waters of rejection letters. With the strength of Jesus Christ, I can be high, low or anywhere in between yet be content and make it through, right?
But could I survive that?? Could I do that thing? Could I walk her path?
I’ll be honest. Hearing this woman’s story made me shake. Indeed, life is unpredictable; I get that. But what do I do with this truth as I prepare for my own bag of marbles? I can’t say I landed on any solid answers except this: I keep going. That’s all. I just keep going. I commit myself to this very moment, because this moment, this breath is really all that’s certain.
My heart bleeds for this woman, and I admire the grace and courage she’s exhibiting as she puts one foot in front of the other and tries to tap into the power of the verses above. Lord knows I don’t know what I’d do if I suddenly, quickly, unexpectedly lost the man I’ve waited and prepared so long for. Today, that’s not my “all things,” so there’s no sense in my trying to figure out what I’d do if it were. Nope. I’m moving forward, carrying her story in my heart as a reminder that life is precious; our loved ones should feel and know they are loved, and I now have a mere 54 days left on this road to the altar (*insert me dancing a little jig here*).
Until next time…
Completely me,
hey. im sick. really sick. I wanted to get married and b/c of a series of things im not married and probably wont get married. He’s remarried what i wanted to tell you. Im sick and dont worry about it. God gives us everyday to enjoy. You cant control your circumstances. i mean every one makes choices. But since ive been threw MANY heartbreaks in my life ive learned to not assume or expect. God is good. And no matter what He’s good. But i know for sure as i grieved the loss of a relationship i cared about i struggled to move on but my NOW has been suffering. you see GOD KNEW that lady would be able to handle it and HE already knows what you or I can handle before He gives it to us. So no need to ruin your joy of today worrying about what possibly could NEVER happen. All that story tells me is that life is fragile treat with care. So instead of ruining your today hold on to your fiance and make the most of whatever you guys have GOD will take care of the other stuff. The movie unconditional deals with death it was sooo good and also how to learn to live. B blessed.
Alli, thank you for stopping by and sharing your words of encouragement. They are greatly appreciated. I can’t help but wonder why you may have given up on the desire to be married. I pray the Lord’s perfect will be done in your life.
oh and congratulations!
Thank you, Alli!
So beautifully written by such a beautiful lady! I am so happy and excited for you.
Michele!! I was so excited to see your comment. I’m so happy you stopped by to hang out with me here. We’re connected all over the place, now. What a blessing! Thank you for your sweet words!
You’re speaking straight to my heart. I can do all those other things, but can I do that? I pray neither of us will have to find out. Soul-provoking words, my friend. Enjoy the countdown!
I pray the same, Becky. But I was definitely encouraged by the strength of that young woman. Oh how God knows just what capacity to endure and rise again He has given to each one of us. Well, I am enjoying the countdown. Time is flying!