After dinner with my friend the other day, my little head was spinning. The evening wore on and I almost wore myself out numbering the countless reasons why my dreams would be better off in the heart of someone other than me. After all I just spent time in the presence of “together-ness”, and I don’t feel I look anything like the “has her act together” kind of woman I saw.
But never fear…Like I said before I’ve grown up a little and I know a little better these days. So here are a few of my tricks of the trade for combating those stinky lies that creep into my mind on occasion, coercing me to compare myself to another of God’s children, then tempting me to declare myself incapable of carrying out the plans and dreams that dance within me:
- Expose the lie: Yep! Call it out. The secret power of the comparison trap is rooted in deception. If you become convinced that you can’t because someone else already does, then deception wins. Expose that lie!
- Embrace the truth: The truth for me is always rooted in God’s word. When I find myself teetering on the edge of the quicksand of comparison, I very quickly, grab hold of the rope that is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (emphasis mine)
I really don’t have to waste time comparing myself to someone else to feel like I don’t have what it takes to reach a dream or accomplish a goal. Newsflash! I DON’T have what it takes… without the strength of Christ within me. At the end of the day that really should remove the weight from my shoulders, don’t you think?
Finally, after exposing and embracing, it’s time to:
- Re-focus and remind. (I know you expected more E words. Me, too, but I just couldn’t think of any. lol…) Right here is where I say, “Focus Monica!” I pull myself off of my sister’s path and focus myself back on the road ahead of me, where my dreams and goals await. I, then, remind myself of important things like who I am, where I’ve been, where I’m going, why I want to go there, who I want to reach when I get there, etc.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with watching and admiring the accomplishments of others. I am certainly not above learning a thing or two from how someone else handles her business.
Learn from? Sure!
Be encouraged by? Certainly!
Receive wisdom from? No doubt!
Follow? Absolutely NOT!
The fact is I’m not like my friend. As phenomenal as she is, I have my own brand of phenomenal-NESS (that is SO NOT a word, lol) going on, and I need to embrace it. I’m not like anyone else, for that matter, and neither are you. I’m not supposed to be, and neither are you. The dreams and visions taking shape in my mind, heart and spirit are forming there because they are unique to me. Some elements may be the same or look similar, but my path and my stroll along said path will not be identical to anyone else’s.
Alas, the difference – the undeniable, unmistakable, unique factor that will join forces with the strength of Christ to make my dreams come true is…wait for it…ME! My life, my ways, my gifts, my personality, my voice, my story, my past, my present, my obedience, HIS timing, my path, my steps, my love of music, my love of writing, my love of marriage, my love of ministry, my love of God – ME!
Completely ME,
I am drawn to your special brand of phenomenalness, Monica! Thank you for the reminder to forge our own journey. There is nothing new under the sun, and yet nobody has ever said it exactly like you will, or done it exactly like I can. We are all unique and that is the beauty of God’s creation! We are ALL wonderfully made!
We are all wonderfully made, indeed! Comparison is so crazy, and I amaze myself at how often I subconsciously do it in even the smallest of ways. I’m truly “preaching to myself” on this one.
LOVED reading both of these posts! I would have responded earlier, but “YOU KNOW” right?!? How many times have I read your posts and wished that I could write as eloquently as you write? PLENTY! Thanks for addressing an area that we ALL have to fight! Love you for being “COMPLETELY YOU”!
So honest and something that so many of us experience. It’s such a blessing to grow and be able to know what to do to pull yourself out of a downward spiral where previously you would have just let yourself go down, down, down. Great stuff Monica!